Friday, August 22, 2008

there's TWOsides to it...




I've been feeling burdened lately... and it has been bringing me down. I feel like at any point, I'll break in front of everyone, trying to keep that smile =] on my face. I know I'm not suppose to be pretending and hiding, but aren't I suppose to be showing the brighter side to lift others up too?

so you can see my predicament... and everyday that goes by, I ask myself that question. Am I doing the right thing? Am I really glorifying God with what I'm doing?

I look at one side of the situation and I see that pretending and hiding isn't what we are suppose to do. To people and even to myself, it seems like I'm trying to put a FAKEsmile on and run away from my problem. Not wanting to solve what is going on. Pretending to be fine, pretending there is no burden, pretending a smile. just pretending...LIEING...

more questions risen...
Is pretending lieing? Is it lieing when all your doing is trying to think of others before yourself? Isn't it ok to put what you feel aside to lift up the other spirits that are down?

bringing us to the other side of the situation. MY intentions are to put others before myself. I know God gave me the blessing to want to give a helping hand and give advice as best I can. I feel like when I show that I am vulnerable or when I show that I am not happy, it brings others
down. People DO feed off of their surroundings and I want to humble myself and put what I feel aside, to bring others up.

Sooooo...
Are my intentions wrong? Is my reasoning legitimate? It's just confusing and at times, I feel the impatience for answers overcoming me...


BUT I know I need to be patient. Praying for patience everyday and just keeping in my mind that God's timing is always perfect ALWAYS gets me through each day. Even though the storms have pounded at me everyday, Even though tears have fallen every night and Even though my heart breaks always, i remind myself that in the end ALL things work together for the good.

*2 CORINTHIANS 6:4 - 6


_____*John 3:16*